
Life loves a good plot twist, doesnāt it? I never imagined becoming a quadriplegicāor a divorcee, for that matterābut here I am, navigating uncharted territory with all its messy beauty.
Honestly, itās probably for the best that we canāt predict the future. Would we even know how to move forward if we could see all the challenges ahead?
DATING AS A 40-SOMETHING QUADRIPLEGIC: THE REAL TALK
Over the last 18 months, peopleāboth disabled and able-bodiedāhave asked me what itās like diving into the dating world at my age, with my wheelchair in tow. Spoiler alert: Itās complicated.
Letās be real: online dating isnāt easy for anyone. But throw in the fact that Iām a quadriplegic woman in her early 40s, and it getsā¦ interesting.
Hereās the thing, though: my wheelchair weeds out the wrong people instantly. And I love that. Why? Because I donāt waste time on those who canāt see beyond the physical. Sure, there are a few duds (and some guys with, um, questionable intentions), but Iāve met genuinely awesome humans along the way.
THE LEARNING CURVE OF LOVE (AND “ARE WE DATING THE SAME GUY?”) š¤
Did you know thereās a website called āAre We Dating the Same Guy?ā Itās like a telenovela meets public safety tool, where women compare notes to weed out serial daters or players. Fascinating, right? Thankfully, I havenāt needed itābut itās wild to see the stories!
WHAT 41 YEARS (AND A FEW CURVES) HAVE TAUGHT ME
Hereās what Iāve learned about dating in my 40s:
* I know who I am.
* I know what I value.
* And I know what I wonāt compromise on.
The insecurities that used to keep me up at night? Theyāre still thereābut I no longer let them define me. Yes, being in a wheelchair comes with challenges (bladder, bowel, muscle spasmsāoh my! š« ), but itās my life. And I no longer feel the need to hide those parts of me.
Now, Iām looking for a partner who accepts me fully: quirks, insecurities, and all. Someone to laugh with, grow with, andāletās be realāargue with now and then.
THE CONFIDENCE SHIFT: IāM FINALLY IN THE DRIVERāS SEAT (METAPHORICALLY) š
When I was first injured, I didnāt understand why anyone would want to date someone in a wheelchair. But now? Iām in control. Iāve embraced my life and all its beautiful complexity, and Iāve found confidence I didnāt know I had.
THE BIG REVEAL (KIND OF š)
Am I dating right now? Yes, but I did have to kiss a handful of frogs along the way. After all, in the beginning, dating is a numbers game. Iāve been seeing a wonderful gentleman for a while now ā¦ Stay tuned on that oneā¦ ā¤ļø
FINAL THOUGHTS
This post isnāt just about loveāitās about authenticity. Life is messy, and thatās okay. Weāre all more than just our jobs, titles, or LinkedIn profiles. So hereās to showing up, imperfections and all, and sharing the full spectrum of who we areābecause thatās where the real connections happen.I