Life loves a good plot twist, doesnā€™t it? I never imagined becoming a quadriplegicā€”or a divorcee, for that matterā€”but here I am, navigating uncharted territory with all its messy beauty.

Honestly, itā€™s probably for the best that we canā€™t predict the future. Would we even know how to move forward if we could see all the challenges ahead?

DATING AS A 40-SOMETHING QUADRIPLEGIC: THE REAL TALK

Over the last 18 months, peopleā€”both disabled and able-bodiedā€”have asked me what itā€™s like diving into the dating world at my age, with my wheelchair in tow. Spoiler alert: Itā€™s complicated.

Letā€™s be real: online dating isnā€™t easy for anyone. But throw in the fact that Iā€™m a quadriplegic woman in her early 40s, and it getsā€¦ interesting.

Hereā€™s the thing, though: my wheelchair weeds out the wrong people instantly. And I love that. Why? Because I donā€™t waste time on those who canā€™t see beyond the physical. Sure, there are a few duds (and some guys with, um, questionable intentions), but Iā€™ve met genuinely awesome humans along the way.

THE LEARNING CURVE OF LOVE (AND “ARE WE DATING THE SAME GUY?”) šŸ¤”

Did you know thereā€™s a website called ā€œAre We Dating the Same Guy?ā€ Itā€™s like a telenovela meets public safety tool, where women compare notes to weed out serial daters or players. Fascinating, right? Thankfully, I havenā€™t needed itā€”but itā€™s wild to see the stories!

WHAT 41 YEARS (AND A FEW CURVES) HAVE TAUGHT ME

Hereā€™s what Iā€™ve learned about dating in my 40s:

* I know who I am.
* I know what I value.
* And I know what I wonā€™t compromise on.

The insecurities that used to keep me up at night? Theyā€™re still thereā€”but I no longer let them define me. Yes, being in a wheelchair comes with challenges (bladder, bowel, muscle spasmsā€”oh my! šŸ« ), but itā€™s my life. And I no longer feel the need to hide those parts of me.

Now, Iā€™m looking for a partner who accepts me fully: quirks, insecurities, and all. Someone to laugh with, grow with, andā€”letā€™s be realā€”argue with now and then.

THE CONFIDENCE SHIFT: Iā€™M FINALLY IN THE DRIVERā€™S SEAT (METAPHORICALLY) šŸš—

When I was first injured, I didnā€™t understand why anyone would want to date someone in a wheelchair. But now? Iā€™m in control. Iā€™ve embraced my life and all its beautiful complexity, and Iā€™ve found confidence I didnā€™t know I had.

THE BIG REVEAL (KIND OF šŸ˜‰)

Am I dating right now? Yes, but I did have to kiss a handful of frogs along the way. After all, in the beginning, dating is a numbers game. Iā€™ve been seeing a wonderful gentleman for a while now ā€¦ Stay tuned on that oneā€¦ ā¤ļø

FINAL THOUGHTS

This post isnā€™t just about loveā€”itā€™s about authenticity. Life is messy, and thatā€™s okay. Weā€™re all more than just our jobs, titles, or LinkedIn profiles. So hereā€™s to showing up, imperfections and all, and sharing the full spectrum of who we areā€”because thatā€™s where the real connections happen.I

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