THE TIME HAS COME… MEET MY “PERSON” 💕
A few weeks ago, I made a post about dating as a divorced, 40-year-old quadriplegic woman. Toward the end of it, I mentioned someone special—a human who’s been in my life for nearly a year and a half now.
We made the intentional decision to keep our relationship offline for a while. Just the two of us. Quietly getting to know each other without the noise of likes, comments, or unsolicited opinions.
But now? The cat is officially out of the (adorably judgmental) bag. 🐈
MEET DAN.
Dan Gizzi and I met on Match, both of us dipping our toes into the wild world of online dating. There were zero expectations.
Dan says he was just hoping for a few good meals. I was experimenting with what dating could even look like as a divorced woman with a disability, still learning where I stood with it all.
And then… something unexpected and beautiful happened.
WHAT STARTED AS DATING TURNED INTO FRIENDSHIP—AND THEN PARTNERSHIP.
Over time, we began building a real connection. Not just as romantic partners, but as friends who truly see one another.
We are very different—and weirdly perfect for each other. Dan is calm, thoughtful, intelligent, creative, and the best kind of cheerleader. I, on the other hand, am basically an Energizer Bunny with WiFi: always talking, always building, always moving, and notoriously difficult to slow down.
He does that. Gently.
WE BALANCE EACH OTHER.
BEING BRAVE TODAY
(Because Some Moments Take Time to Face)
Signing up for the National Storytelling Competition made me revisit a photograph I’ve never shared before
I blocked off four-hour chunks for book editing. Progress update? Still on round one… with three more to go. Turns out, writing is way easier than editing. Worse? Reading your own thoughts out loud, knowing the world will soon have a front-row seat to your inner monologue.
This week, I revisited the section about the moment I broke my neck—specifically the 22-hour journey through a hurricane as my dad rushed me to emergency surgery. He knew I was on a time clock. I didn’t. He watched his daughter die in real time.
I tell my story all the time, but reading those words again? Tears. Streaming. Down. My. Face.
GRIEF IS FUNNY LIKE THAT
IF YOU OPPOSE AN ACRONYM—BE SPECIFIC. ✋🔤
Lately, I’ve seen a lot of bold statements about getting rid of DEI. But let’s be clear—if you’re against something, name it.
Stop hiding behind letters. Spell it out:
“I OPPOSE DIVERSITY, EQUITY, AND INCLUSION.”
And while you’re at it, let’s get specific:
🔹 DIVERSITY? Too many different perspectives making decisions?
🔹 EQUITY? The idea that barriers should be removed so more people can access opportunities?
🔹 INCLUSION? Making sure people aren’t shut out just because they don’t fit the mold?
DEI ISN’T JUST AN ACRONYM—IT’S ABOUT BELONGING. 🏡✨
And here’s the kicker: Companies that fail to create a sense of belonging lose over 💰 $300 BILLION 💰 a year in employee turnover. Because when people don’t feel valued, they leave. And when they leave, organizations lose talent, innovation, and institutional knowledge.
HERE’S WHERE IT GETS PERSONAL. 🦽💬
I’m a quadriplegic. A full-time wheelchair user navigating a world that wasn’t designed for me. So when someone says they’re against DEI, I hear:
❌ “Making spaces accessible is too much of a hassle.”
❌ “People like you should just figure it out on your own.”
❌ “Opportunities should stay limited to those who already have access.”
If that’s your stance—fine. But own it. Because if you can’t say the words “I OPPOSE DIVERSITY, EQUITY, AND INCLUSION” out loud, maybe, just maybe, it’s worth reconsidering why you’re saying it at all.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? LET’S TALK SPECIFICS—NOT JUST ACRONYMS. 🔎💡
“FROM BED-BOUND (Literally) TO BREAKING BARRIERS—WHAT SUCCESS REALLY MEANS.” 🔥🚀
Thank you to Los Angeles Magazine for featuring my TEDx talk as one of the top 30 impactful talks of this century! A huge congratulations to my fellow TEDx’ers!!
I woke up to a friend sending me the article, and for a solid minute, I thought I was being punked. (Where’s Ashton Kutcher when you need him?)
But it got me thinking… how do we define success?
RE-FRAMING SUCCESS 🏆
Is it:
💰 The size of your paycheck?
📛 A fancy job title?
📊 How many views you get on your TEDx talk? (👀)
Most of us have an invisible scoreboard in our heads, constantly tallying the ways we should be winning. But real talk:
Who created that scoreboard? And does it even matter?
HERE’S THE THING ⚡
We’ve become victims of our own success.
🔹 We get anxious about being anxious.
🔹 We get stressed about being stressed. (Quick, where’s the vodka or that 11 p.m. commitment to a sugar spiral?)
🔹 We’re on a treadmill to nowhere, sprinting toward a finish line that doesn’t exist.
It’s like trying to win a race where the prize is… a never-ending email chain. Or worse—a reply all disaster.
read more…LIFE & LOVE as a 41 Year Old DIVORCED QUADRIPLEGIC 💔♿❤️
Life loves a good plot twist, doesn’t it? I never imagined becoming a quadriplegic—or a divorcee, for that matter—but here I am, navigating uncharted territory with all its messy beauty.
Honestly, it’s probably for the best that we can’t predict the future. Would we even know how to move forward if we could see all the challenges ahead?
DATING AS A 40-SOMETHING QUADRIPLEGIC: THE REAL TALK
Over the last 18 months, people—both disabled and able-bodied—have asked me what it’s like diving into the dating world at my age, with my wheelchair in tow. Spoiler alert: It’s complicated.
Let’s be real: online dating isn’t easy for anyone. But throw in the fact that I’m a quadriplegic woman in her early 40s, and it gets… interesting.
Here’s the thing, though: my wheelchair weeds out the wrong people instantly. And I love that. Why? Because I don’t waste time on those who can’t see beyond the physical. Sure, there are a few duds (and some guys with, um, questionable intentions), but I’ve met genuinely awesome humans along the way.
THE LEARNING CURVE OF LOVE (AND “ARE WE DATING THE SAME GUY?”) 🤔
Did you know there’s a website called “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” It’s like a telenovela meets public safety tool, where women compare notes to weed out serial daters or players. Fascinating, right? Thankfully, I haven’t needed it—but it’s wild to see the stories!
WHAT 41 YEARS (AND A FEW CURVES) HAVE TAUGHT ME
Here’s what I’ve learned about dating in my 40s:
* I know who I am.
* I know what I value.
* And I know what I won’t compromise on.
The insecurities that used to keep me up at night? They’re still there—but I no longer let them define me. Yes, being in a wheelchair comes with challenges (bladder, bowel, muscle spasms—oh my! 🫠), but it’s my life. And I no longer feel the need to hide those parts of me.
Now, I’m looking for a partner who accepts me fully: quirks, insecurities, and all. Someone to laugh with, grow with, and—let’s be real—argue with now and then.
THE CONFIDENCE SHIFT: I’M FINALLY IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT (METAPHORICALLY) 🚗
When I was first injured, I didn’t understand why anyone would want to date someone in a wheelchair. But now? I’m in control. I’ve embraced my life and all its beautiful complexity, and I’ve found confidence I didn’t know I had.
THE BIG REVEAL (KIND OF 😉)
Am I dating right now? Yes, but I did have to kiss a handful of frogs along the way. After all, in the beginning, dating is a numbers game. I’ve been seeing a wonderful gentleman for a while now … Stay tuned on that one… ❤️
FINAL THOUGHTS
This post isn’t just about love—it’s about authenticity. Life is messy, and that’s okay. We’re all more than just our jobs, titles, or LinkedIn profiles. So here’s to showing up, imperfections and all, and sharing the full spectrum of who we are—because that’s where the real connections happen.I
TOP 50 MOST WATCHED TEDX TALKS IN 2024: Humbled, Grateful, and Slightly Blown Away
Wow. Just wow. 🤯 I am beyond honored to be listed among these incredible speakers whose TEDx talks made waves in 2024. My little corner of the internet—clocking in at around 333,000 views—feels a bit surreal, and I owe every single friend, colleague, supporter, and curious stranger who watched, shared, and commented on my TEDx talk a huge thank you. 🙌 Seriously, you all rock. 🤘
WHY DOES THIS MATTER?
Here’s the thing: I broke my neck in 2010 in a shallow-water diving accident that left me paralyzed from the chest down. My journey since then has been a masterclass in lessons I didn’t sign up for—seven years in and out of hospitals, countless medical complications, and more moments of “Why me?” than I can count. But every single challenge taught me something invaluable. 💡
Today, I wake up with one goal: To help others Keep Moving Forward—personally, professionally, or even just moment to moment. Life doesn’t always require giant leaps. Sometimes it’s about taking the tiniest of steps—or in my case, rolling forward—toward purpose. 🛞
THE TIMING COULDN’T BE BETTER
To be honest, this news couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve been working tirelessly on editing my first book (coming this spring! 📚), developing new keynote material 🎤, and, oh yeah, fighting off the flu for the third time in eight weeks. 🤒 Pro tip: If you’re looking for an immune system upgrade, I wouldn’t recommend my 2024 edition.
This recognition? It’s a much-needed reminder of why I do what I do. 💪 It’s about CONSTANCY OF PURPOSE. Even on the tough days—or flu-ridden ones—progress is progress. It doesn’t have to be flashy or groundbreaking. It can be as simple as making an epic breakfast 🥞 or sending that one email you’ve been putting off.
THE BIG LESSON
We’re all chasing something, but here’s what I’ve learned: Redefine and reframe success on your own terms. 🧠 It doesn’t have to look like a TEDx talk or publishing a book. Sometimes success is simply showing up, taking one more step, and remembering that forward is forward, no matter the size of the stride.
To everyone who’s been part of this journey: thank you for helping me live out my purpose—and for reminding me that even flu season can’t stop momentum. 💖 Cheers to all of us finding our own version of success, one step (or roll) at a time.
📽 PS: If you haven’t seen the talk yet, it’s still waiting for you to hit play. Best Kind of Warning: dark humor and ahead! 🎥
Why Victimhood is a Choice
Have you met Kate Gladdin ? If not, you have to check her out right now. We were introduced to a mutual friend and she is also a Keynote motivational speaker, best-selling author, and coach for women.
As I say time and time again, life and everything in between is all about your story. It’s about how you live your story with purpose, goofiness, the hard times in between, and everything else. Always the Story!
Kate has an extraordinary story and one of hardship turned into a purpose of teaching others and young women on resilience. She has a fantastic book called “Okay, now What?” A must-read.
I don’t want to give away or her whole story, but when she was 20 years old she woke up in the middle of the night to find out her older sister had died in a tragic road accident while traveling internationally. Her life as she knew it changed forever. Through her incredible philosophy and practical applications of resilience, she turned a tragedy into a philosophy to help many of thousands.
Not only are we great friends now, but she invited me onto her podcast and we had a ton of fun together! In the face of the darkest times, we both agree finding humor is an absolute must.
Happy New YeAr: Updates, Laughs, Gratitude, and a Gift to Brighten Your Inbox
First things first: I hope your holidays were filled with joy, awkward family stories, and at least one dessert you did not regret. Welcome to 2025—let’s make it amazing!
Now, let’s get down to business. Over the last year, I’ve been building something truly meaningful—my Professional Speaking Business. It’s been an incredible ride:
🎤 I delivered dozens of keynote speeches.
🎥 I gave a TEDx talk that’s been watched over 330,000 times (still pinching myself).
💡 I created content to help others tackle life’s challenges head-on.
Why am I writing to you today?
Because so many of you have played an integral role in my journey—mentoring, encouraging, and inspiring me. I wanted to say a big, heartfelt THANK YOU! 🎉 You’ve kept me going, and now I’m thrilled to give a little something back.
I’ve poured my experiences, knowledge, and love for neuroscience-backed strategies into a complementary mini eBook, inspired by my TEDx talk. It’s my gift to you as we kick off 2025 with a bang! My first Book, my memoir, will be coming out over the next few months! Stay tuned for that – I’ll be telling all from my mis-adventures at the Playboy mansion to jail in China to my journey through paralysis, and more!
👉 Click here to download your eBook now! 👈
(For screen reader users, please email me back and I more than happy to send you a Word document of my eBook directly)
Inside, you’ll find three practical strategies to Keep Moving Forward in life (even when everything feels sideways):
- Re-directing Your Attention – Finding focus in chaos.
- Re-framing Success and Happiness – Because “happy enough” beats burnout every time.
- Re-claiming 100% Responsibility – Taking charge of what’s in your control.
These aren’t just fluffy ideas—they’re actionable tools to reduce burnout, engage teams, foster belonging, and tackle life’s curve-balls with resilience and humor.
But wait, there’s more!
If you, your organization, or your association is looking for a keynote speaker who blends neuroscience with dark humor and meaningful insights, let’s connect!
👉 Click Here to learn more or email me directly at Ali@AliIngersoll.com. Oh, and one quick housekeeping note: This is my shiny new professional speaking email, so please check your spam folder just in case Gmail gets overly protective.
Thank you again for being part of my journey. I can’t wait to connect with so many of you this year. Let’s make 2025 the year we Keep Moving Forward—one bold, messy, and meaningful step at a time.
With gratitude (and maybe a coffee in hand)
I’ve been INVITED into a CLINICAL TRIAL – Be the Scientist in Your Own Life
I will never stop learning, reading, and experimenting on myself with nutrition, exercise, pain management techniques, how to better work with my audiences, and so much more.
My chronic burning pins & needles pain reaches about a 8.5/10 each day & can be utterly debilitating. If you’ve experienced chronic pain I’m sure you can appreciate. Over the years I have created an arsenal of different neuro focus strategies to help turn down the volume so to speak in order to live my life.
Each day I use a form of meditation, guided self-hypnosis visualizations, over a dozen small mental conversational strategies with myself, distraction in the form of working towards a greater purpose, and more. They help. Don’t get me wrong.
However, as I age with spinal cord injury the pain levels started to change year-over-year & some of my current techniques are no longer as effective as it would like.
Not only do I believe in neuroplasticity (Neurons that wire together fire together), think use it or lose it, but I have proved it works. Science backs it time and time again. We, human beings, quite literally are our thoughts and they have the power to make us better or make us sick. Consider reading the book by Joe Dispenza the “You are the Placebo.”
A few months ago, I decided I needed to experimenting new techniques. I know I can completely eliminate my pain; I just don’t think I’ve had the right modalities in place for me over the last several years.
I recently got connected with Ann Van de Winckel, PT, MSPT, PhD at the University of Minnesota at the Brain Body Mind Lab. She and her colleagues are running a fascinating clinical trial funded by the NIH to explore the feasibility of reducing chronic pain through a virtual clinical study.
I am so happy to announce I have been accepted in this multi-month trial where I will be assigned a Chigong instructor (Ancient Chinese breathing + coordinated body-posture movements + meditation) to work with over many months to retrain my brain once again.
It is a major time commitment each week, but what wouldn’t you do to turn down the volume on whatever pain you suffer from in life? Psychologically? Physically?
We pop on social media for an hour in the blink of an eye, but what if we took this hour a day to engage our minds more cohesively? I do this every day whether that is in reading or meditating or learning something new. However, I realize that I need to tweak my daily practice and I am ecstatic to be accepted into this exploratory virtual clinical trial.
I think a brilliant way to start off 2025! Remember, if we don’t have our bodies, where are we going to live? Take care of yours. A friendly PSA reminder 🙂